God's Geek

Reflections and random thoughts of a geeky youth worker in North London...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Sheer Grit, Determinination and Stupidity

I have a stubborn streak, or, on a more positive note, a determined nature. A good example of this happened yesterday, when I was looking after Daniel for the day so that Neil could study. I decided that it would be a good idea to take him on a long walk to a place called Crews Hill where there are various garden nurseries and pet shops aka free zoos. We had a great time, and had various adventures, including meeting a bird that could say hello, seeing some fish, meeting a snake and Daniel finding some tennis balls, which appeared to be more interesting than the cute puppies. I also discovered that the going rate for a rabbit is £35, compared to the £5 when I was young...

This sounds lovely, but is slightly more stupid when you consider that I had been ill over the Easter weekend and was still not eating much yesterday. And it is called Crews Hill for a reason, which I was reminded of as I pushed my 2 stone son up it in his buggy. By the time we had found the animals, gave Daniel a hearty lunch and FINALLY found somewhere to change his nappy (don't get me started on that one..), I was absolutely shattered and not feeling too good. And wondering why on earth I make things so difficult on myself. It was a long walk home, and it was only when a bus went past in the opposite direction that I wondered why I hadn't even considered getting one!

The truth is, that when I really decide I want to do something, I do it, or at least try very hard to, despite what may be more sensible or easier. This, like most things can be a strength and a weakness, and it led me to think about our God-given giftings and strengths and weaknesses of our characters. Has God given me this (sometimes) steely grit to serve him and do the work of his kingdom, or does it act as a barrier from listening and following after what God wants of me? The truth seems to be somewhere down the middle. Sometimes it is a great characteristic and sometimes it is a reminder to re-focus on God and let my desires melt away and follow His instead. Stubborn or determined? Or just a bit silly?


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