Reflections and random thoughts of a geeky youth worker in North London...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Feeling a little rash
Well, I am still here! The Research Project was completed on time and I am still revelling in the freedom that finishing the course brings. Sadly, that has meant hat I have had little motivation to sit in front of the computer outside of work, so no blogging!
Part of the problem has also been that I have been poorly off and on for a few weeks - nothing too serious but resulting in me wanting to chill while not working or being with Daniel and Neil. I think some of this as been a result of relaxing and letting myself recover from the sheer stupidity (and joyful challenge!) of having a small baby, returning to work and completing a DIploma. At the same time. The other reason for illness is my lovely little boy. I feel like an NQT, or like I am back at uni with the freshers flu. Having Daniel and attending toddler groups is exposing me to loads of lovely little germs amd I am picking up more things than I have done in years. The most recent came last week when Daniel was poorly over night. We thought it was just teething but he was very sleepy and he lost his appretite the next morning. After another sleep he suddenly had an all over body rash... Seriously, how does it come up so quickly? Apparently, it was a viral rash. Anyway, I was feeling poorly all week and after a bath yesterday, I discovered that it was covering me as well. he is very good at sharing...
It is so beautiful to pour out my love on Daniel and know it makes a difference. I wonder more and more about the wonder of being a parent, and how God shows us his love through loving a child. As I cradled Daniel while he was ill, I didn't care that it was 3 in the morning, I just wanted to help him feel better. I expected nothing in return, although it was wodnerful to know that my cuddles were helping him. The next day when I received his lunch 10 minutes later, I didn't care about the smell (although regurgitated yogurt is quite gooey); I just wanted to hold him and help him. And his smiles and giggles when he was better melted my heart.
I won't spell out the lessons about God's love for us and our response but it has deepened my faith to know a little more of the surge of love that God feels when he looks at me, his precious child.