It's been a while...

... but I'm back. A number of reasons have conspired againt any blogging, such as running around after a small boy, my husband hogging the office for his own studies and me being fairly tired after working, mummying and doing a spot of marking.

So, what's been happening? Well, Daniel's vocabulary is extending, current favourite word is poo-poo, and favourite animal noise is ee-ee (a mouse). And I discovered at bed time that he knows what stars are. Neil's vocabulary is also pretty good, which he's putting to good use with his degree in Children's and Youth Ministry at Cliff College.

I've been experiencing and thinking a lot about lessons in leadership. The last few months have been... interesting... at times, and I've learnt a lot of things. As I write them, I can't help but remember the words of Ecclesiastes 'there's nothing new under the sun.' There is nothing remotely original here and it's stuff I knew in theory anyway. But, as ever, these things take on a deeper resonance when you live through them. Here's some of my incredibly obvious insights:

Sometimes when you are a leader, you have to make difficult and unpopular decisions. People may not like them, or you.
Sometimes you don't know what people think and you'll never find out, but you can't help but wonder anyway...
It is often tempting to explain and defend yourself, but sometimes the best way forward is to shut up.
On the other hand, being up front and talking to people about differences is much better than ignoring issues and tensions
People can be jealous or scared of you, even if you think this is completely unfounded!
The things God lays on your heart and you speak about may not always be popular.
Even if you love planning, sometimes you just have to wing it... and God makes it happen so you trust Him instead of yourself!
People work very differently - and it's a GOOD THING, especially when it's different from the way you want to do it
Sometimes poeple don't understand or appreciate what you do, and although you may want lots of praise and adoration, it's probably not that healthy anyway.
Good leaders want to develop a fear of God, not people.

Obviously, whenever I write you, I am obviously referring particularly to myself.
Here's a couple of personal ones to finish with that are challenges at different times. My guess is that other leaders struggle between these 2 extremes.

Sometimes I am arrogant.
Sometimes I lack confidence and I'm insecure, which affects the way I see things.

I remember when I was younger desperatley wanting to be in leadership because it looked so fun and it made you important. Obviously, I have understood for a while that importance isn't at the heart of leadership; stories about Jesus and feet washing spring to mind. But I think I'll have to keep coming back to these same old lessons time and time again. SOmetimes I feel like such a slow learner and I am thankful that I have an ever loving, ever patient teacher.